Wait, What? There are 4 ways FEAR sparks you to focus on LOVE? Haven’t we always been taught as kids that fear is a bad thing? That we should avoid situations that make us feel fearful because it’s a sign of possible danger?
I would like to share with you a recent experience I had that helped me realize we can actually be grateful for fear. I know, I can hear you saying “Yeah right…here it comes.. the ‘fake it til you make it’ speech”. Fear not, my friends (Pun intended. LOL!). What I am sharing is about changing the perspective you have about fear, which means changing the thoughts you attach to Fear.
Please, Please, Anywhere But There!
I recently attended a team building event with several co-workers. I typically love team building events. I consider myself a people person and enjoy getting to know people beyond the work setting. I love the feelings of authentic team camaraderie; it’s a natural high for me. I was all excited until I heard the name of the location: “Hot Fired Arts”.
Yikes! I stink at art. It doesn’t come naturally to me (or at least that is what I thought beforehand). Instantly I felt Fear calling… self doubt thoughts started popping in my head like: “My project will look stupid, what will I even choose to do? How do I know what colors to use? Grrrr… why there? Any other place…”
My stomach started to feel queasy. I was instantly teleported back to elementary school in Mrs. Shriver’s art class, when I saw the amazing paintings of the other kids while my super basic sun in the corner and stick figures were from my perspective, terrible. Thankfully, I snapped out of my pity party, tapped into my optimistic nature, smiled, and said to myself “I guess I’ll just have to find a way to enjoy it”, but deep inside those pangs of fear were still there.
My Life Isn’t Threatened, What Is This?
Showtime! I’m in front of the shelf of what seemed to be hundreds of choices of items to paint. Those fear feelings are getting loud again; I can feel my temperature rise and my heart pounding, my hands even feel a little sweaty. I hear my internal voice say “Good grief, get a grip Jen…this is just painting, it supposed to be fun.”
I glance at my coworkers who all seem to know exactly what they want to do and already I’m feeling behind. Luckily I saw a ceramic piece that said “LOVE” and I thought, ok, that looks doable, how could I go wrong with Love?
And then it happened. I asked the instructor what colors to use. I eagerly awaited the expert to share her great wisdom (aka tell me the answer) and calm down my fear and anxiety. Her response was simple and profound: “Just listen to your Heart”.
For a moment I was stunned. That particular phrase has a very powerful meaning to me. I have been participating in a 6-month online course since 2016 called the Master Key Experience. First as a member, then as a Guide and eventually Guide-Staff member helping others along their unique life journey. And I hope I can help you along your journey a little bit by sharing the 4 ways fear sparks you to focus on love.
“Just listen to my heart”. Of course that’s it because all the answers are truly from within. In the midst of focusing on my perceived Fear, I temporarily took my focus off of the fundamental truth that we learn in the course from Charles Haanel’s book The MasterKey System:
“Harmony in the world within means the ability to control our thoughts, and to determine for ourselves how any experience is to affect us.”Charles Haanel, The Master Key System,
Hopefully what I learned from my art experience can help you avoid the pain that often seems to come with Fear. When Fear seems to creeps in, Focus all your thoughts on LOVE! The way to dispel darkness is to shine our light. The way to dispel Fear is to focus on LOVE.
Here are 4 ways Fear sparks you to focus on LOVE:
L = Listen to your Heart.
In the midst of a fearful thought or feeling, be still and be open to the messages that the Divine, your Source, or whatever you call Infinite Intelligence, is always working on our behalf and wants to help you create a life you choose and love.
O = Open your mind to associate new thoughts to a word.
I also learned about the 7 Laws of the Mind in the Master Key Experience. One of them is the Law of Substitution.
The Law of Substitution states “We cannot think about 2 things at the same time. If a negative thought enters your mind replace it with a pleasant thought.”Mark Januszewski
V = Visualize only what you want.
It takes practice and focused attention to keep our thoughts fixed on one thing, even if it’s a wonderful thing like Love. In his book the Master Key System, Charles Haanel provides a metaphor of a magnifying glass.
“The power of attention can be more readily understood by comparing it with a magnifying glass in which the rays of sunlight are focused; they possess no particular strength as long as the glass is moved about and the rays directed from one place to another; but let the glass be held perfectly still and let the rays be focused on one spot for any length of time, the effect will become immediately apparent”.Charles Haanel, The Master Key System
When I read this passage, I remember as a kid holding a magnifying glass steady on a sunny day over a piece a wood and poof, magically it started to burn part of the wood. If I moved it all around nothing happened. When we hold our mental magnifying glass steady on thoughts of LOVE only, that is all we see. Fear is no longer in focus, it diminishes, and with practice, it disappears altogether, by appreciating and applying the 4 ways fear sparks you to focus on love.
E = Expand your Comfort Zone.
We have all heard the saying if we want to grow we need to “Get out of your comfort zone”. At a primal level, our brain doesn’t want us to change, it is all about pure survival. Change alerts the brain to check for danger. If we have focused our thoughts to see all change as fearful and buy into society’s conditioning that no one likes to change, we are fueling fearful thoughts.
The great news is we can use Fear as a tool and focus on expanding our comfort zone baby step by baby step, not alerting the brain to go into a panic, like it often does when we attempt to “Get out of our Comfort zone”. For brief moments, Fight or Flight mode can be useful. For example, if there’s a close call when driving, immediately we have a surge of adrenaline, heightened concentration, and laser focus.
This Is Good!
These are rare occasions when you may not be served by reviewing the 4 ways fear sparks you to focus on love. In most cases, if you start to sense fear (like I did with my heart pounding as I was flustered trying to pick an item to paint) you can substitute the meaning that “this is good”. When I do that, I am more focused and can concentrate better. Give yourself grace and lots of practice to apply the “Law of Dual Thought” which states.
“Thought is a combination of ideation and feeling. We can attach any feeling to a thought we want.”Mark Januszewski
I am so grateful I opened my mind to associate a new meaning to the feelings of Fear I had that day painting with my co-workers. My initial fears were not accurate. I had a wonderful time chatting with my co-workers while we were painting. We ended up in a conversation about siblings and birth order related to personalities. All good! And by the way, my LOVE piece turned out great!! I absolutely love the colors and how it “pops” with happiness.
Added bonus, I learned 4 ways fear sparks you to focus on love and my experience confirmed for me what the Beatles sang in “All You Need is Love!”
If you want to learn more about the other 5 laws of the mind, click here and join our list. And of course, join our community when we start back up again this Fall!
Love this so much Jen Dilks! I had a very similar experience with a paint and sip with co-workers a few years back. The resulting painting is in my entry area now and it’s always a reminder of your story–something beautiful came from an uncertain/fearful start. Appreciate you so much for sharing this and I LOVE your piece so much. Most cherished item on your desk I expect!
Thanks so much Jen Porter! I love how you said “something so beautiful came from an uncertain/fearful start.” You are right, I do keep my artwork in close sight to enjoy and also a reminder to embrace the unfamiliar even if it seems to spark some apparent fear- ultimately LOVE is always there to guide us and light the way!
So encouraging blog Jen! Thank you so much! When I read it, it came to my mind that when we feel fear it is we, ourselves, that give us the message from our hearts that we need to give ourselves more love. I just love those 4 ways to focus on love. And your love piece is just wonderful!
I agree Monica! Love this one very much.
Thanks Monica! So glad you enjoyed my story. Give ourselves more Love – beautiful!
Great blog, Jen, I love it! And the art is Amazing!! Just like your sunny personality!
Such kind comments Arlene. Glad you enjoyed it. =)
Jen, what a great way to change your perception of fear by applying your 4 ways that fear sparks you to focus on love. This blog was so inspirational and I definitely plan to use your strategy when fears pops in my life again. I also think your art was very stunning. What will be your next project?
Appreciate your comments Eulaine. I like how you stated changing my perception of fear; yes, it is just a perception and we have the mental power and ability to change the meaning we give to words/experiences. Next project = glass bowl. Stay tuned!
love your ‘love art’ Jen & your focus acronym for a love approach to fear sparks.. or maybe they’re actually sparkles 🙂
Thanks JJ! Your comments in the MasterKey community always spark a focus on Love!
Jen, what great insight! Only YOU could pull together the creative connection between love and fear. Thank you so much for sharing.
You are welcome Day. I appreciate your comments. Glad you enjoyed the blog. Tapping into my creativity has opened new doors and experiences. #Grateful
What a powerful acronym you’ve shared for working through fear, Jen!
I also found the tip you shared near the end of your post to be especially helpful to me: to practice the Law of Dual Thought by associating the feeling of fear with the thought, “this is good”.
Many times when we’re in the midst of fear, our amygdala or primitive/emotional brain kicks in, denying us access to our pre-frontal cortex–the thinking/logical part of our mind where amazing acronyms like LOVE are stored. Using the phrase “this is good” can be a stop-gap tactic I use to pull myself out of fear feelings enough to remember to use the LOVE acronym! 🙂
Your artwork is wonderful–I’m so happy to know that this experience boosted your confidence in your creativity and that you have more artwork on the horizon! Thank you, Eulaine, for asking her what her next project is!
Thanks for your kind words Laura. So glad you found value in this blog and can apply “This is good” to associate new meaning to fear. Artwork update: completed my 2nd piece…a glass bowl. Yahoo! Just need to be patient until it’s ready for pickup. =)
I loved how I was able to read along while you spoke on clubhouse today.
I highly, recommend to watch to beetles circus O in Vegas!!!
Embracing, change is amazing and practicing the tools in every aspects in our lives….Thus, reason why I believe we all have an opportunity to go through the masterkey experience!
So appreciate your comments Cindy. Thrilled you have experienced many benefits from the MasterKey Experience. =)
We shall continue to do so….keep up your blogging and great cheerfulness.
Thanks, Jen, for this beautiful blog on changing the perspective of fear to positivity and love. You are remarkable and so greatly appreciated.
You are so amazing! I love your art project!
Triggering “This is good!” when noticing the presence of fear then substituting it with Love in its four components Listening/Opening/Visualizing/Expanding truly looks like a great way to transform Fear into a permanent tool of self-development. Your blog litterally made me want to look for the next fearful situation where I could readily experiment your approach! 😉 Thanks Jen for this inspiring post!