Recently I heard my dad saying that my mom was a person who had a gift of being present and was true to who God created her to be and lived her life just the way God purposed without adding anything more or taking anything away. I was reflecting on his statement about my mom for last few days. It has been almost 12 years since she has left us and I miss her more than ever as I am getting older and also reflecting on my own life journey realizing how much impact she’s had on my life.
No Unpleasant Words
My dad was right how he described my mom as that’s how I remember her also. I don’t remember my mom ever being in a hurry or getting frustrated as she was always very clam and consistent regardless of what kind of situation she was in or who she was with. She didn’t say any unpleasant words to anyone or say anything bad about anyone.
She was very present in each situation and with each person she was with. She didn’t discriminate any one and she would embrace everyone around her. When I think of her, I still remember every morning she was reading the Bible and praying before she started her day. She was a woman of very few words. She didn’t say any unnecessary words. She taught me so many things not by words but by how she lived her life.
Life in Canada
I am so grateful to God that my family moved back to Canada and I was able to spend last 3 years of her life living closer to her. Even though most of those years were filled with taking her to many doctors’ appointments and a few months of the hospital stay, I treasure those times that I was able to be with her. I was living such a busy life working full time, helping my husband with church ministry and raising my kids so I was always in hurry when I was with her between appointments with many other pressing responsibilities.
Slowing Down – Being Present
I still remember so vividly my mom’s voice, “You are too busy” and “You talk too much”. Over the last few years, I have been learning to slow down and speak less recalling my mom’s words and thinking of how she lived. More than ever, I miss my mom and I wish she was here with me now so I can “be present with her” just like how she was always “present with me”.
I wish I could’ve spent more time with her just to enjoy each other’s company rather than taking care of business. One of the memories that I have of my mom is when we went to the flower garden walking along and looking at the flowers together. Just enjoying each other’s company and appreciating the beauty of God’s creation. What a beautiful moment it was!
Grateful to God
Yes, mom, I am learning to slow down, speak less, and reflect more to be present in the moment just like how you lived. I know that I am not you and I am my own unique being just the way God created me but I am so grateful that God has given me you as my mom as I’ve had such a privilege of observing your life so close to have an amazing role model.
Getting a high grade; having a great job; making lots of money; accomplishing a lot; or getting a recognition, none of these things are that important in the end but what it counts most in life is how you live your life each moment fully and truly, being a person God created you to be and living your life as God purposed for you.
I am so glad that I am being reminded this truth as I continue on my MKE journey with my fellow sojourners and looking forward to continuing on in the New Year as we are just about to step into the year 2022. Happy New Year!