November 19

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Danger – Keep Your Opinion! Why Opinions Don’t Matter

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Even for a ”non-opinionata” like me, I have learned why opinions don’t matter. It is a challenge not to be outspoken with opinions.

But what is an opinion really? It can be a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge (“That, in my opinion, is right.”).

Or an opinion can also be a statement of advice by an expert on a professional matter (“If in doubt, get a second opinion.”).

In other words it can be a thought or belief that you have (which is based on values and emotions), or a conclusion from professional knowledge that you have.

The latter is a judgment from an expert, but there are of course other kinds of judgments that are based on values and emotions that exhibit why opinions don’t matter. For example, “He has a very high opinion of himself.” (that is, thinks he is very skilled or clever in a way that is  annoying). Or “She has a high opinion of her abilities.” (that is, thinks she is perhaps better than others).

MKE No Opinion Week

When we have the non-opinion week in the Master Key Experience (MKE), we can only say our opinion if we are asked AND if we have expertise or professional knowledge about the matter in question. What a great challenge to help us learn why opinions don’t matter!

A matter of fact is that I am a behaviorist and can count myself as an expert in that area so I could say plenty about how I view people’s use of opinions, but I am not asked in that matter so I won’t!

Opinions vs. Facts

We have a lot of opinions about ourselves, but are these really opinions or facts? From when we are born up to seven years old, we are observing how others behave and we are integrating what others think about themselves, the world around, and above all, what they think about us.

why opinions don't matter

We get customized to see all these opinions as facts. Such ”facts” become our blueprint for the rest of our lives, if we do not start all over again observing ourselves to get our own understanding so we can distinguish between opinions and facts.

When we see these opinions as facts/solid truths, most of these thoughts are then controlled in our unconsciousness, attached with strong emotions so they never show up in our consciousness with words. More understanding on why opinions don’t matter.

This underlying blueprint is therefore hidden from us.

Changing the Blueprint – Why Opinions Don’t Matter

So how can we disclose the “truths” that are governing us? Well, one way is to not speak out our opinions!

Because if you do this, suddenly you start to observe first and foremost what are opinions and what are really facts — which facts matter and why opinions don’t matter.

For instance, if you were born without legs you can say as a fact: “I have no legs”. Nobody can doubt this. But your statement can also be: “I can never live a normal life because I have no legs”.

Is that an opinion or a fact? There will for sure be people that doubt this, because they have another opinion about what you see as a fact and as a truth. What is a normal life? What is your opinion?

Maybe one’s statement is rather: “I can’t live the life I want because I have no legs”. Where does that come from? Most probably from one’s old (unexamined) blueprint that defines who we are and what we are capable of.

What Drives Us

Another interesting perspective is to observe why we say the things we do and why we do the things we do. Above all, it is our values that guide us, but also our needs. This is really why opinions don’t matter.

Both values and needs develop from an early age and are parts in our blueprint. And both of them can be good to have, depending how you handle them. For example, I have a core value that it is important to lift up others especially if they have abilities that they can’t see for themselves.

This core value stems from early childhood when I didn’t felt seen for my abilities and developed a low self-esteem which followed me up into adulthood. As a small girl, I needed to be seen and took this out by being “the clown” and strengthened those personality traits that others actually saw in me (which not were the best of me!).

Making Change Happen

About 40 years ago, I understood that I needed to do something about my behaviors, or rather what controlled my behaviors. I started to be an observer of myself. I found out a lot of needs that had been controlling me negatively to think that I was not worth this and that and many other things. I found out the hard way why opinions don’t matter.

Instead of fighting those needs, I asked myself: What can I learn about myself and how can I turn this to something positive? It was then I consciously transformed my needs to a core value that made me feel it is important to lift up others. It was not as if I told myself: “I am going to have this as a core value”, but the process of observing myself built up this value to be a strong one.

So what can I say as a “non-opinionata”? By not telling opinions you start to observe yourself and by observing yourself you start a process within yourself that may, or may not, change you as a human being, since you define yourself according to needs, beliefs and values.

The result? You come closer to your true self.

Do you dare take the journey?

Do you have something to say first?

Or maybe just do it now, do it now, DO IT NOW!!!!

Read more articles by Monica Petersson

About the author

Monica has more than 20 years of experience of life guiding and coaching and is passionate about helping people make reality of whatever change they desire in their lives. Her background is a longterm specialized education at the University. Today is she working full time in her own company, living her dream which she credits the Master Key Experience.

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  • I really enjoyed reading your blog. It was so inspiring. I also suffered from low self esteem during a period of my life. You give so much hope to others. THANKS FOR SHARING…..priceless😎

  • I really enjoyed your take on opinions. It made me think a little deeper and pushed me to think more about what I say to others.

    • Thank you Michael! I am happy that my blog has inspired you (and maybe also to think more about what you say to yourself 😉 )

  • Monica, you are a great example of the earnest person doing her best in applying Socrate’s maxim “Know Thyself”, as you have created two of the most critical habits to succeed in this endeavor: observing yourself, and “no opinion” attitude, congrats and thank you for this inspiring post!

  • Monica thank you for sharing this inspiring post. Observing yourself and having “no opinions” is such a great place for our journey of self discovery to start.

    • Thank you Deb! Yes indeed it is, and I can’t think of a better place to start then within the Master Key Experience where you get so much help and encouragement on that journey!

  • Monica, your blog was very inspiring. I agree with you on three things: (1)the importance of having a core value especially the one you have of lifting people up and being an encouragement to them. (2) By not stating your opinion it frees you to observe yourself and you become a better listener too. (3)Defining yourself according to your needs, beliefs and value. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for inspiring me. What were your needs that seemed to control you?

    • Thank you Eulaine! You are so right in that we become a better listener as well when we stop expressing our opinions. As I mentioned in my blog I developed needs to be seen as a child and those needs were integrated within me so they become a part of my personality in a way that I wasn’t aware of them. In that way they controlled me, aka my behavior (and of course they were actually not part of my true self)

    • Thank you Joan! It is quite easy to make progress within the MKE compared to do it alone just by yourself.

  • I love the concept of “what can I learn and how can I turn this into something positive”. The MKE is instrumental in helping others find this mindset as long as they are open to it. And that’s a fact, not an opinion!

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